Bright Grayish Haze on the Meadow...

Each Morning this week, I have awoken to the crazy haze over the corn and around the tree line. The sunrises and sunsets are phenomenal here, but there is something magical about the haze that comes in.

It makes me break out into song: "There's a bright grayish haze on the meadow....there's a bright grayish haze on the meadow. The corn is as high as an elephant's eye...and it looks like it's climbing clear up to the sky!"

And while I am sitting here today missing the city (garage sales and chickfila), God is reminding me to be thankful for what He has placed in my life. An opportunity to live out the Oklahoma musical. lol

(P.S.---this picture came from Flickr, but it REALLY looks like it could have been taken in our back yard!!!)

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Well...I had to go in to the ER today to have a few things checked out.

I really don't like our new hospital. It is old and unprofessional. I think I could have ran the tests better myself. lol

That being said, here is what they found:

1. Dr came in and looked at my belly. Asked if I was 5 months pg. I told him not even 5 weeks. lol. He said that was a problem.

2. High blood pressure and high pulse which lead them to do an EKG...came back slightly abnormal but within range. Dr also thought he heard some fluid in/around lungs?

3. I have gained 10 lbs in 2 weeks.

4. My HCG more than doubled! YAY!

5. Did an ultrasound and they would not show me the screen. Do you know how incredibly torturous this is to someone who has had multiple early losses??? When the tech left the room...I was half tempted to grab the wand and look myself. I didn't...but was sooooo tempted. The result of the ultrasound was mild ohss and 1 beautiful sac with forming yolk. The dr thought the tech said there might be a second one, but he could not confirm. Seriously????

So...14 viles of blood later and several hours...I am told that baby seems well. Stay off my feet as much as possible. Drink a lot. And check in with my OBGYN next week or sooner if things worsen. I could have told myself almost all of that. lol.

Good news though: Baby is GREAT so far!

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A sweet one on the way...

On Wednesday of last week (June 9th), we found out that we are expecting baby #3!

We have already had a preliminary blood work, and everything is coming back DOUBLE what it should be! Praise the Lord! Our nurse said that this was a beautiful - better than perfect pregnancy so far. Some of my levels are so high, that she said I should feel like I am almost 4 months pg, even though I am just 4 weeks.

We are loving every day that we have with this Sweet One (Naming it that b/c it is due near Valentines Day!) and praying that God will prepare us for whatever lays ahead. Whether it be rejoicing or grieving.

PS...we should have an ultrasound next week to see the heartbeat. Praying for this milestone.

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Our New Kiddos...

They would so not like being called Kiddos. But, we love them. A LOT! We have just fallen for our teens. Brian has spent quite a bit of time hanging with the guys...and I have some great time planned with the girls. We had 18 in our class on Sunday! Sweetness!!!!!!!!!! (We had 6 our first week there. ;) ) Tripled.

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I Am

I love how this song describes our relationship with God throughout the stages of life. I can remember calling out to Him in each way at each age. Every time I listen to this, I sob. How beautiful our Creator is at revealing Himself to not only a 5 year old, but a 16 year old, and a young wife at 25, and a mature lady. He is amazing like that.

Pencil marks on a wall
I wasn't always this tall,
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed,
You watched my team win,
You watched my team lose,
You watched when my bicycle went down again,

CHORUS:
And When I was weak unable to speak,
still I could call You by name,
and I said “Elbow healer, Superhero,
come if You can,” and You said “I am”

Only 16, life is so mean, what kind of curfew is at ten PM
You saw my mistakes, You watched my heart break
Heard when I swore I’d never love again

CHORUS:
When I was weak, unable to speak,
still I could call You by name,
and I said “Heart-ache Healer, Secret-keeper,
be my Best Friend” and You said “I am”

You saw me wear white, by pale candlelight,
I said forever to what lies ahead
two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream
too much it might seem when it’s two AM

CHORUS:
when I am weak, unable to speak,
still I will call You by name.
“Oh Shepherd, Savior, Pasture-maker,
hold on to my hand,” and You say “I am.”

The winds of change,
And circumstance blow in and all around
us so we find a foothold that’s familiar,
And bless the moments that we feel You nearer
Life had begun, I was woven and spun,
You let the angels dance around the throne, who can say when,
But they’ll dance again, when I am free and finally headed home

CHORUS:
I will be weak, unable to speak,
still I will call You by name
“Creator, Maker, Life-sustainer,
Comforter, Healer, My Redeemer,
Lord and King, Beginning and
the End, I am, yes, I am.”

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A Snake.

Don't worry Grandma's...it was dead. :)

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No good, terrible, rotten, horrible, stinky, yucky...

HEADACHE.

Remembering the small things is the theme. I just want to remember that Clomid causes Migranes in me. lol.

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MP3 Players and Little Boys.

Isaac has a new little passion for MP3 players. Before we left for Florida, we bought him an "Elcheepo" from Ebay. It is from Pirates of the Caribbean and he thinks he is something else while listing to it. He also stays busy and we don't hear much from him...until he starts to sing.

PS...It was a waterpark. ;)

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Simple Things...

I hate that I can look back on my life, and there are parts of it that I really can't remember well. Isn't that a horrid feeling? It was probably b/c there was not anything major going on at the time. Life was either filled with simple, quiet beauties...or we were failing to see the simple, quiet beauties. So, I am going to try to remember these beauties a little better.

At our new house, everything is so unfamiliar. This time in our lives, our days are filled with explorations of new sights, smells, sounds, and feelings. Smells are a huge thing for me. I think a big reason for that is b/c Brian can't smell, and I am always trying to come up with a new way to explain the smell to him. Thus, making me think more about why something smells a certain way to me. Anyhow, I love the new smells and experiences of living somewhere different. I have never REALLY lived in the country, and I am amazed by the differences. Especially here. Everyone is fairly laid back (which can cause Brian insanity issues at times) and friendly (which causes Brian's issues to dissolve quickly). Here are some of the things that I have noticed here:

1. There are different bird sounds, and they are a lot louder. I heard a bird singing. Yes, it sounded like it was singing...and it was as sweet as strawberries on the 4th of July.

2. We have monster toads here. And turtles. And bugs. And Mountain Lions. Yes...you read that right. We have mountain lions in our woods. One was spotted only 4 miles from our house. How weird is that? You here such interesting sounds at night. Coyotes howling is scary and actually causes bad dreams. Toads sometimes sound like the dryer humming b/c they are so constant and loud. Turtles don't make noise.

3. Having your yard mown by a church member is one of the best gifts given. Everytime someone mows for us, the entire house smells like eating cold watermelon for the very first time of the summer. Ahhhh... Who needs a candle, when you have that smell for 2 days?

4. Fried Pickles are pretty awesome. As is Fried Macaroni.

5. Don't discount the "Discount Grocery". The store is as big as our garage, but houses the BEST cheese and milk. Possibly other things as well, just have not ventured past the cheese and milk.

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He has made me glad.

I remember singing Psalm 42 when we were back at New Hope. It had a verse in it that was always a little stirring to me. It said, "Why do I mourn and toil within? When it is mine to hope in God? I shall again sing praise to Him. He is my help, He is my God"

At that time, I did not see how I would ever be able to sing praise to Him with all my heart. My heart was dark, and torn. I felt that I had all that I could bear. Honestly. But, God is an amazing faithful God. He is one of Hope. When I felt that I had little, He took that little and turned it into a beautiful thing.

Yesterday, at church, I was struggling a bit. For some reason, the thought of a little girl at the age of 18 months popped into my mind. She was wearing a cute little spring dress and had darling bows in her hair. All of the ladies in the church were loving on her. She was mine. She should have been mine at least. Struggle in the heart set in. I was a bit sad on the way home as I sat in the seat of the van. I thought, I need to just forget about it. Think on pretty things. After all, that is what the Bible says to do...think on "these" things. And then, My God who is the God of ABUNDANT mercy showed Himself to me again. Natalie Grant's new song popped on the radio. Funny that it was Natalie Grant, as her song "Held" was a song that God used to remind me of my relationship with Him as I was walking THROUGH the valley. Now, He used her once more. The song was called Our Hope Endures, and it is playing in the background of my blog right now. Here are the words:

You would think only so much can go wrong
Calamity only strikes once
And you assume this one has suffered her share
Life will be kinder from here
Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

How do we comprehend peace within pain?
Or joy at a good man's wake?
Walk a mile with the woman whose body is racked
With illness, oh how can she laugh?
Oh, 'cause sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

Emmanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient
We never walk alone
And this is our hope

Amazing huh? I love the lyrics: Let the earth quake...our hope is unchanged!

Funny how 3 years can totally change you. The Lord has graciously carried me to the point in my life that I can now say, "I will NOW sing praise to Him." He has made my hope endure, when I felt that I could not take one more trial. He has made me GLAD.

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