I Am

I love how this song describes our relationship with God throughout the stages of life. I can remember calling out to Him in each way at each age. Every time I listen to this, I sob. How beautiful our Creator is at revealing Himself to not only a 5 year old, but a 16 year old, and a young wife at 25, and a mature lady. He is amazing like that.

Pencil marks on a wall
I wasn't always this tall,
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed,
You watched my team win,
You watched my team lose,
You watched when my bicycle went down again,

CHORUS:
And When I was weak unable to speak,
still I could call You by name,
and I said “Elbow healer, Superhero,
come if You can,” and You said “I am”

Only 16, life is so mean, what kind of curfew is at ten PM
You saw my mistakes, You watched my heart break
Heard when I swore I’d never love again

CHORUS:
When I was weak, unable to speak,
still I could call You by name,
and I said “Heart-ache Healer, Secret-keeper,
be my Best Friend” and You said “I am”

You saw me wear white, by pale candlelight,
I said forever to what lies ahead
two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream
too much it might seem when it’s two AM

CHORUS:
when I am weak, unable to speak,
still I will call You by name.
“Oh Shepherd, Savior, Pasture-maker,
hold on to my hand,” and You say “I am.”

The winds of change,
And circumstance blow in and all around
us so we find a foothold that’s familiar,
And bless the moments that we feel You nearer
Life had begun, I was woven and spun,
You let the angels dance around the throne, who can say when,
But they’ll dance again, when I am free and finally headed home

CHORUS:
I will be weak, unable to speak,
still I will call You by name
“Creator, Maker, Life-sustainer,
Comforter, Healer, My Redeemer,
Lord and King, Beginning and
the End, I am, yes, I am.”

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A Snake.

Don't worry Grandma's...it was dead. :)

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No good, terrible, rotten, horrible, stinky, yucky...

HEADACHE.

Remembering the small things is the theme. I just want to remember that Clomid causes Migranes in me. lol.

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MP3 Players and Little Boys.

Isaac has a new little passion for MP3 players. Before we left for Florida, we bought him an "Elcheepo" from Ebay. It is from Pirates of the Caribbean and he thinks he is something else while listing to it. He also stays busy and we don't hear much from him...until he starts to sing.

PS...It was a waterpark. ;)

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Simple Things...

I hate that I can look back on my life, and there are parts of it that I really can't remember well. Isn't that a horrid feeling? It was probably b/c there was not anything major going on at the time. Life was either filled with simple, quiet beauties...or we were failing to see the simple, quiet beauties. So, I am going to try to remember these beauties a little better.

At our new house, everything is so unfamiliar. This time in our lives, our days are filled with explorations of new sights, smells, sounds, and feelings. Smells are a huge thing for me. I think a big reason for that is b/c Brian can't smell, and I am always trying to come up with a new way to explain the smell to him. Thus, making me think more about why something smells a certain way to me. Anyhow, I love the new smells and experiences of living somewhere different. I have never REALLY lived in the country, and I am amazed by the differences. Especially here. Everyone is fairly laid back (which can cause Brian insanity issues at times) and friendly (which causes Brian's issues to dissolve quickly). Here are some of the things that I have noticed here:

1. There are different bird sounds, and they are a lot louder. I heard a bird singing. Yes, it sounded like it was singing...and it was as sweet as strawberries on the 4th of July.

2. We have monster toads here. And turtles. And bugs. And Mountain Lions. Yes...you read that right. We have mountain lions in our woods. One was spotted only 4 miles from our house. How weird is that? You here such interesting sounds at night. Coyotes howling is scary and actually causes bad dreams. Toads sometimes sound like the dryer humming b/c they are so constant and loud. Turtles don't make noise.

3. Having your yard mown by a church member is one of the best gifts given. Everytime someone mows for us, the entire house smells like eating cold watermelon for the very first time of the summer. Ahhhh... Who needs a candle, when you have that smell for 2 days?

4. Fried Pickles are pretty awesome. As is Fried Macaroni.

5. Don't discount the "Discount Grocery". The store is as big as our garage, but houses the BEST cheese and milk. Possibly other things as well, just have not ventured past the cheese and milk.

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He has made me glad.

I remember singing Psalm 42 when we were back at New Hope. It had a verse in it that was always a little stirring to me. It said, "Why do I mourn and toil within? When it is mine to hope in God? I shall again sing praise to Him. He is my help, He is my God"

At that time, I did not see how I would ever be able to sing praise to Him with all my heart. My heart was dark, and torn. I felt that I had all that I could bear. Honestly. But, God is an amazing faithful God. He is one of Hope. When I felt that I had little, He took that little and turned it into a beautiful thing.

Yesterday, at church, I was struggling a bit. For some reason, the thought of a little girl at the age of 18 months popped into my mind. She was wearing a cute little spring dress and had darling bows in her hair. All of the ladies in the church were loving on her. She was mine. She should have been mine at least. Struggle in the heart set in. I was a bit sad on the way home as I sat in the seat of the van. I thought, I need to just forget about it. Think on pretty things. After all, that is what the Bible says to do...think on "these" things. And then, My God who is the God of ABUNDANT mercy showed Himself to me again. Natalie Grant's new song popped on the radio. Funny that it was Natalie Grant, as her song "Held" was a song that God used to remind me of my relationship with Him as I was walking THROUGH the valley. Now, He used her once more. The song was called Our Hope Endures, and it is playing in the background of my blog right now. Here are the words:

You would think only so much can go wrong
Calamity only strikes once
And you assume this one has suffered her share
Life will be kinder from here
Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

How do we comprehend peace within pain?
Or joy at a good man's wake?
Walk a mile with the woman whose body is racked
With illness, oh how can she laugh?
Oh, 'cause sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

Emmanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient
We never walk alone
And this is our hope

Amazing huh? I love the lyrics: Let the earth quake...our hope is unchanged!

Funny how 3 years can totally change you. The Lord has graciously carried me to the point in my life that I can now say, "I will NOW sing praise to Him." He has made my hope endure, when I felt that I could not take one more trial. He has made me GLAD.

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Miss Country Bumpkin

Welcome to our new home.

Miss Country Bumpkin.

She is such a fun house to live in. And has everything that we ever really asked for! Please forgive that I do not have more pictures. Somewhere along the way, I lost my Camera Charger...awaiting a new one.

3200 sqft if you include basement and garage
3 bedroom
2 bath
Eat in Kitchen
Huge Laundry Room
Dining Room
Office
Rec Room/Fireplace Room w/ Fireplace of course.
Family Room
Florida Room
Back Porch
2 Fire pits
4 acres
Serious Cabinet Space
Dishwasher <----Do you know how long I have waited for this???
Lake/Pond


Will be posting pictures as we update each room. How good is God to bless us with this home? The best part??? Rent is crazy crazy cheap. (like almost 1/2 of our Mortgage at the former house!) Another God thing.

BTW, I am happy to be living a country life. Miss my Meijer (which was still 45 min away), but I love having land and privacy.

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Here and Happy!

Oh how good it feels to write that! We are finally here at the new church, new town, new house. Brian is very happy and so excited about his new ministry. He is a different kind of pastor this time around, which is refreshing to me. We are much free-er to minister, if that makes any sense at all. This past week, he kept saying, "I feel like I am looking at our new environment through rose colored glasses and that it is all going to come crashing down soon." I told him that I felt that the Lord was allowing our hearts to fall in love with the area that HE sent us to. Amazing gift from Him.

So, here are the highlights of this past few weeks, since I am sure you don't want to read a book.

1. The church paid for all of our moving expenses and then plenty extra.

2. My in-laws came to move all the boxes!!

3. The church came to help us move all the furniture and everything else. 9 men, 6 teens, and 1 woman showed up to help. We were shocked. It took them all of 1 hour to move our little bitty house.

4. One of the men that came to help us move, did not even go to our church. He just wanted to show us he cared. How cool is that???????

5. After we moved in, a church member...who is also a neighbor...showed up with goodies! We have a cattle farm across the street from us, and he brought us a huge box of beef! We laugh everytime we eat some of it, that we are eating Bessie from next door. He also gave Brian a handful of cash to help with anything we might need.

6. On our first Sunday at the church, we had a teenager accept Christ! Her grandfather was so excited that he called us Sunday afternoon to tell us! The church was pumped. We are the first associate pastor that they have ever had, and they are excited to see what God is going to do. (Oh, and the church doubled their attendance in the past week! CRAZY!)

7. Brian got his paycheck from the church on Friday. On the front was a cute little hand stamped smiley sun. The treasurer wanted to make sure that the pastors knew she supports them. I told her how much that meant to us. She told me that she will do her best to make sure Brian NEVER feels like the church is not behind him financially. Do you know how big that is to us? Seriously HUGE! Made me cry.

So. There is my. We love country life, love our new house like mad, and are so excited to be in the ministry again!

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And Finally...A GoodBye.

The part that I dreaded. The part where I have to say good bye to my little house.

I know...I know...It's just a house. Behold All things will perish.

BUT, this little house has been an amazing shelter and refuge for my family. God blessed us with all that we needed, and graciously provided for us even when we complained.

Last night, I laid in bed talking to the little lady house. I thanked her for withstanding the storms that blew her way. I thought back on all that her cracked walls saw in the almost 9 years that we lived here. And told her that I hoped she would have great owners that loved her as much as we did.

In our 9 years here, little lady house watched as we poured tears over the people of our church. Sobbed as we had to discipline some from our congregation. She was warm as I sat in my pink chair...awaiting the birth of Abbie and Isaac and then she watched us bring home 2 of our precious children. She held steady as puppies and little feet ran through the rooms...gleefully yelling and shouting. She creaked and moaned a little when we wept over 11 sweet ones that past on to Heaven, never for us to see their faces. Little Lady House was best friends with the Red Tree who made my heart sore with pleasure of God's splendid handiwork. And she endured all the renovations that we lovingly poured into her as well.

Thank you Lord for giving us such wonderful memories of a Little Lady House. She will forever be our home. And I am so happy that my kids will remember their wonderful times in her.

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And We Move On...

On March 21st, we accepted the position of Associate Pastor to Youth and Families at a great little church in Southern Indiana. After several years in limbo, and following a very hard ministry in Attica, we are excited to see what God has for us here. Nervous, yes. Excited, OF COURSE. Sad, deeply.

I will miss Attica. I will miss my awesome Faith. I will miss my friends. (Ok, so we are only moving 2 hrs away...but still!)

I want to write more on this later. I don't have much time to pour out my emotions right now. BECAUSE----> We are packing. See post above for more details on that!

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