Lover...Your Beloved Needs You.

I was driving through the country this morning. All alone as Brian had the kids in the car in front of me. I was kind of having a little bit of a pity party for myself. Feeling alone. Struggling with the lack of close comfortable friends, the lack of babies that should have made their way into our earthly family, and the lack of a husband who is gone insane hours most weeks. Just feeling sorry for myself.

So, I turned on the radio. The song "You've been a bad, bad boy" popped on. LOL. Was God telling me something, possibly. But, I turned the knob from Brian's oldies station, to my Christian station. Ahh....Sweetness filled my car. The soft piano starting beating out the notes to, "I will lift my eyes." We sang this song on Sunday. And while the entire lyrics are just wonderful, there is a certian few phrases that have touched my soul, and caused me to realize that I have a Lover. Even if "I" feel the lack of earthly companionship, my Lover holds me close to Him...and I should snuggle in. As this song played, I looked out on the fields, and saw the sun peeking through the trees, hitting the frost on the ground in a magical light show. I felt near Him. I felt un- alone. I felt ashamed for ever feeling so, and for not first offering praise before my plea for companionship.

"I will lift my eyes to the Healer
of the hurt I hold inside"

"Cause You are and You were and You will be forever
the Lover I need to save me
'Cause You fashioned the earth and You hold it together, God
so hold me now"

"God, my God, I cry out
Your beloved needs You now
God, be near calm my fear and take my doubt
Your kindness is what pulls me up
Your love is all that draws me in"