I Am

I love how this song describes our relationship with God throughout the stages of life. I can remember calling out to Him in each way at each age. Every time I listen to this, I sob. How beautiful our Creator is at revealing Himself to not only a 5 year old, but a 16 year old, and a young wife at 25, and a mature lady. He is amazing like that.

Pencil marks on a wall
I wasn't always this tall,
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed,
You watched my team win,
You watched my team lose,
You watched when my bicycle went down again,

CHORUS:
And When I was weak unable to speak,
still I could call You by name,
and I said “Elbow healer, Superhero,
come if You can,” and You said “I am”

Only 16, life is so mean, what kind of curfew is at ten PM
You saw my mistakes, You watched my heart break
Heard when I swore I’d never love again

CHORUS:
When I was weak, unable to speak,
still I could call You by name,
and I said “Heart-ache Healer, Secret-keeper,
be my Best Friend” and You said “I am”

You saw me wear white, by pale candlelight,
I said forever to what lies ahead
two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream
too much it might seem when it’s two AM

CHORUS:
when I am weak, unable to speak,
still I will call You by name.
“Oh Shepherd, Savior, Pasture-maker,
hold on to my hand,” and You say “I am.”

The winds of change,
And circumstance blow in and all around
us so we find a foothold that’s familiar,
And bless the moments that we feel You nearer
Life had begun, I was woven and spun,
You let the angels dance around the throne, who can say when,
But they’ll dance again, when I am free and finally headed home

CHORUS:
I will be weak, unable to speak,
still I will call You by name
“Creator, Maker, Life-sustainer,
Comforter, Healer, My Redeemer,
Lord and King, Beginning and
the End, I am, yes, I am.”

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A Snake.

Don't worry Grandma's...it was dead. :)

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No good, terrible, rotten, horrible, stinky, yucky...

HEADACHE.

Remembering the small things is the theme. I just want to remember that Clomid causes Migranes in me. lol.

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MP3 Players and Little Boys.

Isaac has a new little passion for MP3 players. Before we left for Florida, we bought him an "Elcheepo" from Ebay. It is from Pirates of the Caribbean and he thinks he is something else while listing to it. He also stays busy and we don't hear much from him...until he starts to sing.

PS...It was a waterpark. ;)

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Simple Things...

I hate that I can look back on my life, and there are parts of it that I really can't remember well. Isn't that a horrid feeling? It was probably b/c there was not anything major going on at the time. Life was either filled with simple, quiet beauties...or we were failing to see the simple, quiet beauties. So, I am going to try to remember these beauties a little better.

At our new house, everything is so unfamiliar. This time in our lives, our days are filled with explorations of new sights, smells, sounds, and feelings. Smells are a huge thing for me. I think a big reason for that is b/c Brian can't smell, and I am always trying to come up with a new way to explain the smell to him. Thus, making me think more about why something smells a certain way to me. Anyhow, I love the new smells and experiences of living somewhere different. I have never REALLY lived in the country, and I am amazed by the differences. Especially here. Everyone is fairly laid back (which can cause Brian insanity issues at times) and friendly (which causes Brian's issues to dissolve quickly). Here are some of the things that I have noticed here:

1. There are different bird sounds, and they are a lot louder. I heard a bird singing. Yes, it sounded like it was singing...and it was as sweet as strawberries on the 4th of July.

2. We have monster toads here. And turtles. And bugs. And Mountain Lions. Yes...you read that right. We have mountain lions in our woods. One was spotted only 4 miles from our house. How weird is that? You here such interesting sounds at night. Coyotes howling is scary and actually causes bad dreams. Toads sometimes sound like the dryer humming b/c they are so constant and loud. Turtles don't make noise.

3. Having your yard mown by a church member is one of the best gifts given. Everytime someone mows for us, the entire house smells like eating cold watermelon for the very first time of the summer. Ahhhh... Who needs a candle, when you have that smell for 2 days?

4. Fried Pickles are pretty awesome. As is Fried Macaroni.

5. Don't discount the "Discount Grocery". The store is as big as our garage, but houses the BEST cheese and milk. Possibly other things as well, just have not ventured past the cheese and milk.

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He has made me glad.

I remember singing Psalm 42 when we were back at New Hope. It had a verse in it that was always a little stirring to me. It said, "Why do I mourn and toil within? When it is mine to hope in God? I shall again sing praise to Him. He is my help, He is my God"

At that time, I did not see how I would ever be able to sing praise to Him with all my heart. My heart was dark, and torn. I felt that I had all that I could bear. Honestly. But, God is an amazing faithful God. He is one of Hope. When I felt that I had little, He took that little and turned it into a beautiful thing.

Yesterday, at church, I was struggling a bit. For some reason, the thought of a little girl at the age of 18 months popped into my mind. She was wearing a cute little spring dress and had darling bows in her hair. All of the ladies in the church were loving on her. She was mine. She should have been mine at least. Struggle in the heart set in. I was a bit sad on the way home as I sat in the seat of the van. I thought, I need to just forget about it. Think on pretty things. After all, that is what the Bible says to do...think on "these" things. And then, My God who is the God of ABUNDANT mercy showed Himself to me again. Natalie Grant's new song popped on the radio. Funny that it was Natalie Grant, as her song "Held" was a song that God used to remind me of my relationship with Him as I was walking THROUGH the valley. Now, He used her once more. The song was called Our Hope Endures, and it is playing in the background of my blog right now. Here are the words:

You would think only so much can go wrong
Calamity only strikes once
And you assume this one has suffered her share
Life will be kinder from here
Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

How do we comprehend peace within pain?
Or joy at a good man's wake?
Walk a mile with the woman whose body is racked
With illness, oh how can she laugh?
Oh, 'cause sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

Emmanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient
We never walk alone
And this is our hope

Amazing huh? I love the lyrics: Let the earth quake...our hope is unchanged!

Funny how 3 years can totally change you. The Lord has graciously carried me to the point in my life that I can now say, "I will NOW sing praise to Him." He has made my hope endure, when I felt that I could not take one more trial. He has made me GLAD.

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