He has made me glad.

I remember singing Psalm 42 when we were back at New Hope. It had a verse in it that was always a little stirring to me. It said, "Why do I mourn and toil within? When it is mine to hope in God? I shall again sing praise to Him. He is my help, He is my God"

At that time, I did not see how I would ever be able to sing praise to Him with all my heart. My heart was dark, and torn. I felt that I had all that I could bear. Honestly. But, God is an amazing faithful God. He is one of Hope. When I felt that I had little, He took that little and turned it into a beautiful thing.

Yesterday, at church, I was struggling a bit. For some reason, the thought of a little girl at the age of 18 months popped into my mind. She was wearing a cute little spring dress and had darling bows in her hair. All of the ladies in the church were loving on her. She was mine. She should have been mine at least. Struggle in the heart set in. I was a bit sad on the way home as I sat in the seat of the van. I thought, I need to just forget about it. Think on pretty things. After all, that is what the Bible says to do...think on "these" things. And then, My God who is the God of ABUNDANT mercy showed Himself to me again. Natalie Grant's new song popped on the radio. Funny that it was Natalie Grant, as her song "Held" was a song that God used to remind me of my relationship with Him as I was walking THROUGH the valley. Now, He used her once more. The song was called Our Hope Endures, and it is playing in the background of my blog right now. Here are the words:

You would think only so much can go wrong
Calamity only strikes once
And you assume this one has suffered her share
Life will be kinder from here
Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

How do we comprehend peace within pain?
Or joy at a good man's wake?
Walk a mile with the woman whose body is racked
With illness, oh how can she laugh?
Oh, 'cause sometimes the sun stays hidden for years
Sometimes the sky rains night after night
When will it clear?

But our Hope endures the worst of conditions
It's more than our optimism
Let the earth quake
Our Hope is unchanged

Emmanuel, God is with us
El Shaddai, all sufficient
We never walk alone
And this is our hope

Amazing huh? I love the lyrics: Let the earth quake...our hope is unchanged!

Funny how 3 years can totally change you. The Lord has graciously carried me to the point in my life that I can now say, "I will NOW sing praise to Him." He has made my hope endure, when I felt that I could not take one more trial. He has made me GLAD.