So...I'm Down...

:)

I have worked very hard at my weight loss. Unfortunately, I was forced to take a 10 week break from exercise and diet, but still maintained my loss. So, officially today I am DOWN! I got so so so excited last week when I slipped those lovely size 8 pants on with ease. AMAZING! Then, this weekend, I got a size 6 skirt that looks great! Just what I needed to give me that boost! I was looking at all these GREAT slacks that were size 6, and I thought, in 2 months...these will be mine. And, they will. I promise myself, unless God prohibits me again, I WILL be in a 6 this summer. I WILL be healthy. And I will be able to go on any hiking trail I please.

Now, I must must must start praying more fervently for this one thing...currently, my grocery bill is nil. Until Brian gets another job, we will be living off of $1000 a month to pay all of our bills, eat, and gas (it cost over 200 a month in gas just for Brian to go to work!!!!) So, we are going to be struggling a bit. We really need your prayers. I am scared and feel a bit of lack of faith right now. Thinking about last spring, and feeling as though this year could look the same. The thought of living like this again, I can not imagine. But, when we are weak, HE is strong, so we shall see what HE has planned for our weakness!!!!!!!! lol... All that to say, it is going to be hard to eat healthy, so I am praying for God's provisions in this matter. Specifically praying for a smaller freezer so that I can stock up on frozen veggies when they are cheap/free. Can't wait to see how God is going to provide!

Oh...and here are my currents numbers (as embarrassing as they are...EEEKS!)

Starting Weight: 142 Current Weight: 132 Goal Weight: 120
(notice how the colors get lighter...just like I will! lol POSITIVE THINKING)
Starting Waist: 33 inches Starting Hips: 39 inches
Current Waist: 31.5 inches Current Hips: 38 inches
Goal Waist: 27 inches Goal Hips: 36


Current Size: In between 8 and 10 Goal Size: 6

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Oh...the Fun of Christmas Pictures.

I guess that Isaac decided this year that he hated pictures. He wiggles, laughs, talks, waves, sticks out his tongue...you name it. Everything BUT smile! Abbie on the other hand, hammed it up! She enjoyed her photo shoot!

First...here are the pictures of Isaac's defiance...

And the ones that we will actually use...I liked about8 of the 64!

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The Magnificat

I have always loved this picture of Mary. It doesn't show her as a mother who was just getting ready to deliver. It shows her as a pure, young lady. This is how I pictured her as the angel came to visit her.

Every Christmas, as a woman and a mother, I find myself focusing on Mary. I tend to view her as an example. After all, she was the only woman deemed suitable to carry God's only Son. The Father in flesh. She must have been a remarkable woman. I can only imagine the many ways that I continue to daily fall short.

I specifically love The Magnificat. This actually reminds me of Mariam's song of deliverance after the Israelites passed the Red Sea. Full of praise. Full of humbleness. Full of Awe. I find myself so many times trying to express my feelings like this. And just can't seem to find the right words.

Luke 1:46-55 is Mary's famous prayer/praise. It starts off by saying, "My soul doth magnify the Lord, and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Savior." I can only imagine the feeling that she must have been feeling. How her spirit and mouth could not contain the praise and emotions that she must have been experiencing. After all...she had Christ residing in her. Oh wait...so do we! So, why can't we speak like this? Mary was the greatest servant of all to Christ. She was the mother who knew from the moment He was conceived with in her, that she would raise a son, only for Him to die. For her. And the rest of us. I was only pregnant for 11 weeks, and knew that my little one would die. It was heartbreaking. But, imagine delivering a darling child. Watching that sweet little boy grow up. Watching Him become THE PREACHER of all preachers. THE TEACHER of all teachers. THE GREATEST PHYSICIAN of all times. And knowing that this mighty Man, yet God, would die as you watch. And not only would He die, but He would die for you...His mother. Mary must have felt so much guilt. So much pride in Christ (the kind of pride that is a godly pride;) ) So much sadness. So much joy. She probably had a hard time coming up with the words to describe how she felt.

I love how Mary responds to the angel in verse 38: "Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to Thy word." I can honestly say that when I discovered that the child that I carried was going to die, I did not say, " Behold your servant...be it unto me..." At least not right away. It took me days... and then it was still with a closed fist at times. I can honestly say that there are times that my fists are closed as I think about the ministry. Mary opened her heart to a ministry beyond our imaginations. I don't think that I would be able to say...Be it unto me. How embarrassing. This is why this scripture is so important to me at this time of the year. It reminds me of what kind of woman I should be. I lack in so many areas. And I pray that someday God would deem me worthy and that I might be able to say, "For He that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is His name." (vs 49)

***By the way this picture is taken from One Wintry Night by Ruth Bell Graham. If you do not own this book, I HIGHLY suggest that you buy it and read it to your children each Christmas. It has lead many people to Christ...including 3 of my Sunday School kids! Amazing story of the need for a Christ from the beginning of time, to our current estate.***

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It's Begining To Look Alot Like Christmas...

Take a look at the 5 and 10, glistening once again...

I love this time of year. So much hope and joy and magic. So many opprotunities to share the love of our Savior. And so many magical moments that you wish would never go away!

Tonight, we drove about 40 min to see a light display at a fairgrounds. We stopped and used some CVS ECB's first on cookies and milk to drink on the way...(and Isaac's sour cream and onion Pringles! lol) Poor Isaac was zonked when we got there. No waking him up. BUT, Abbie was in Winter Wonderland. She oooooed and aaaaaahhhed over each display. I tried to get Brian to wear his Santa hat, but no such luck, so I ended up with it on. He is such a stuck in the mud at times! :P

Here are a few pictures of our evening...and one of our tree. To welcome our cyber friends into our home this Christmas.

This was my favorite Display. You can not tell, but it was a gazebo lite up!

This was Ab's favorite display. It was castle with a "REAL" drawbridge she says!

This is Brian's attempt at photography. :P And as you can see...I am in the Santa hat. And Bri's Rocky sweatshirt! lol

And...last....my tree. And if you notice, the walls have been freshly painted! I will get some picts of the remodeled room when everything is finished. Just after Christmas I guess!

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Isaac and Abbie Funnies...and not so funnies...

Abbie First:

Be aware. Your child watches those commercials!Lol. Abbie came into the bathroom this morning while I had water running in the sink. We have just a tiny clog in that sink that I have been working on. Abbie matter of factively told me, "You need The Orange Bam Mom!" Then walked out. Those commercials drill into their little heads. And ours for that matter!!!!!!

Now, the EVER commical Isaac:

We visited a church in another town on Sunday. Isaac was suprisingly EXCITED about joining in his sunday school class. As most of you know, we lost our baby this past week, and it has been a little sad for the kids. Isaac has been trying to "peek" to see how Jesus was going to take the baby to heaven! In Sunday School...Isaac learned about Mary and Joseph. He learned that Mary was going to have a baby. Get this!!!! In the middle of the class that Isaac had never been to before, he starts talking! He told the teacher that his mommy has a baby in her belly. Then he went on the say, "But out baby died." The teacher was SHOCKED! She did not know us. She tried to gently tell Isaac that someday we could go to heaven and see the baby. Isaac then told the class very proudly, "Yes. I am going to use my dad's ladder. But I have to get a taller one, cause that one is not big enough!" The teacher tells me all of this while I am picking him up. I am in tears of course, she is struggling to know the right thing to say, and Isaac is trying to explain to me at the door, "Mom...that Mary had a baby in her belly like you, but hers isn't dead." Oh My! The honesty of our children brings me back to reality. Isaac still prays 3 times a day that God would keep the baby safe, and then at the end of his prayers, tells me that Jesus is taking care of it for me. What faith and pure honesty. Seems cleansing in a way. And man, Isaac can always make me giggle in a wierd way!

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Baby Shaw is in Heaven now...

According to our OB, our sweet baby shares the same birthdate as it's mommy. Unfortunatly, it was born into our Father's arms, not ours. I am physically feeling better. Emotionally, struggling a bit, and can tell that my hormones are starting to fall. Which will cause some crabbiness I am sure! Eeeekkks! I am grateful for the few weeks that I shared with my baby. I may never see that glorious 2 lines of a pregnancy test again...so I will cherish that memory. I may never look down and see a little baby bump again...so I will cherish that also. Thank you to everyone for allowing me to have some time alone...and offering the help you have. :)

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