Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Tree...

While there are many things to dislike about Attica, In...I have a few things that I still treasure. And I will miss them when I leave.

One of those few things, is The Tree. There is a tree that I can see out of my Kitchen window. I can also see it well from the back yard. Every year, it is so beautiful in the fall and winter. It has a BRIGHT gold leaf each fall. It became my tree in the fall of 2002. We lost our first Heaven bound baby in October of 2002. I remember hearing Cami from Dr Furr's office explain it all to me. Guess what??? It was raining. I was looking out the my tree. And trying very hard to hold my breath so that I would not cry while she was on the phone. It was such an early loss. I didn't think I was supposed to be sad over it...even though I really was. I later became very aware that you must process the grief, otherwise it piles on. The sky was darker, and it had rained, so the leaves stood out against it in a Grand God way. I remember feeling the dampness in the air. We had the window opened, and I can remember hearing the tiny drops of rain hitting the leaves on the ground. For some reason, I don't remember hearing any cars and such, which is quite amazing since we live on a busy corner.

This tree is a tree of promise. One year while looking on it, I was thinking about naming it the Golden Tree... (You know how I name everything) and the thought of my children being in The Perfect Place with streets of Gold. I like to picture trees like this in Heaven. Although, I am not sure if that is really logical or not. Do trees and leaves die in Heaven? There is a pondering thought for the day... Sorry, rambling, ADD you know! :P Anyhow...even if I do not see my fall trees in Heaven, I will see my children. They will be whole...perfect...without sin...lacking nothing. Created just as God had planned. How awesome of a promise is that?

Anyhow, please remember with all those who have lost little ones. Remember that their mommy and daddy hearts are hurting...not just today on National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day, but many days.


Qtipper on October 15, 2008 at 5:24 PM said...

Aw shucks, you got me weeping. Praying for you at this very moment.


Lisa on October 16, 2008 at 7:51 AM said...

Hey thinking of you.
I wish you could see the colors here they are so bright.

Gwendolyn on October 16, 2008 at 1:18 PM said...

I just found your blog, and you made me cry! I've lost two at nine weeks (after we had already seen the heartbeat twice) and one at 17 weeks because of a blood clot. That one was a little boy we named Elijah. I hope they are playing with your babies in Heaven. :o)


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